I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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