she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
it's great music for shaving your balls
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
