THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize