Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
