soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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