I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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