She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
