i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Michael Bay diarrhea
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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