your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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