Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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