i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
