thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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