If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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