Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
