i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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