You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
