You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
