Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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