you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
