is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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