what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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