You made me cry and you don't even care
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
