Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
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Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
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Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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