shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
