She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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