Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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