He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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