I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
