remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
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Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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