He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
