There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
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we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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