oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
