my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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