so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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