how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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