is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize