I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
