Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize