So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
