Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I skipped work to stalk him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
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