so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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