I got chris browned last night
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
