You just made me feel so damn special
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
