i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
