Well apparently he's into motor boating.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize