are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
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She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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