She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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