I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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