the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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