I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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