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I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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