Only a mothe r could love this liver
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
