guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
