If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
last night I used snow as a chaser
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
