i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
