Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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