I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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