I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
