I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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